The route became a kind of uncertain thing

P,

I want to let you know that I’ve settled on a pact with myself to mainly listen & to support those listening & over time (however long or short) will hopefully learn better ways than I currently know for connecting & acting. I understand very well the fingers I see pointing lately/ the voices sternly reminding “marching is not enough.” & have been trying to adhere to a process of “ok” “yes” “continue…” & even though the literature after that  seems largely lacking in specifics (when we say something’s not enough, probably it would be good to follow that up with something, because to those of us who don’t quite know a lot else to do other than write things & walk places & make the occasional phone call, the message of “not enough” can be overwhelmingly convincing & encourage us to feel guilty about walking without a particular “next” in mind. Can start to feel maybe if I don’t know the whole road, I’d better not march.

But I remember in the march I participated in, the route became a kind of uncertain thing at a few points, & I chose at the time to try & watch how we were being directed as best I could, remain aware of the potentiality of dangers, but mostly focused on the fact of this together-movement.

This was enough for me, in that moment, to help create an internal model for how a longer, more figurative walking might look. It was more than just some “euphoria of demonstrating” that gets folks inspired & giddy & “feeling” like they are a part of something when in someone else’s fact (mind) they are just there for show. It’s metaphor in how solidarity works. It’s instructive about the tenor of one’s movement. We can see how each other are treating a moment. How open we are to discussion. How focused we seem on hearing one another. It doesn’t seem like “just a show of support” to me. It seems to beg the question of “next”—it can go some part of the way toward answering that question) your own message did not lack some specific places to look next. & I will look in those places next. & I plan to continue study & solidarity & building of my own sense of how to act.

& I wish I’d come to this moment as prepared as some seem.  I feel I have a sense for empathy that is always needed &  a servant’s heart & a willing set of hands & a strong back. Just… a big cloud of uncertainty as to where those things ought to/can best be put to use. 

At least there is the fact of Poets I can wrap my heart around.

I love you,

P

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